• Married at First Sight

    Married at First Sight S:4 E:13 The Power to Choose Our Destiny

    The pressure builds as ‘Decision Day’ looms for the two remaining couples that got  “Married at First Sight”. We see how these impending decisions weigh on their hearts as the last grains of sand slip down the hourglass.When you take the ultimate risk of marrying a stranger, your hopes and dreams are to have a lifelong partner with whom you can grow in love.  But in order to fall in love, the relationship must be healthy. What does that mean? Each person needs to feel honored, respected, listened to and valued. Because we are all unique, that can look very different. Yet there can also be many commonalities.  Watching these couples work…

  • Married at First Sight

    Married at First Sight S:4 E:12 Building and Sustaining Commitment

    Commitment to the six-week process of “Married at First Sight” could be the single most determining factor for a successful marriage. How do you build commitment with the uncertainty of the situation? It takes consistency, reciprocation and a willingness to work together.    “Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt, but in spite of doubt.” ~ Rollo May   When you love someone, you willingly give them your devotion. Marrying a stranger takes vulnerability and courage to do the same, in the absence of love. Having a camera record your every look, speak and action adds another layer of stress. How each person handles that stress defines the…

  • Married at First Sight

    Married at First Sight S:4 E:11 The Power of Spoken Word

    There is nothing more powerful or impactful to the success or failure of couples that are“Married at First Sight” than the spoken word. Each phrase uttered has the potential for lifting and softening hearts, or piercing and causing pain. With only six weeks [or less] to build a strong foundation where love can grow, every word has immense power. As each season progresses, we see the direct results that spoken words have. In all of us, there is an innate desire to love and feel loved. During the process of getting to know a stranger, the communication dance can alternately float like a waltz or step on toes. Tone and attitude are the song playing on the…

  • Married at First Sight

    Married at First Sight S:4 E:10 Trauma Over Trust

    Getting “Married at First Sight” is an ultimate relationship risk. Putting your trust in a complete stranger is another. When you combine these two, you have an extreme emotional vulnerability, often leading to fear. But the greatest capacity for love happens in a relationship where there is no fear. In order to remove that fear, you have to build a solid foundation of trust…and that takes time, being dependable, responsible and reliable. Derek and HeatherTo develop trust, you must first define what that looks like to each person and set a solid foundation. What is important to you when you think about trust? In what ways has past broken broken trust affected who…

  • Married at First Sight

    Married at First Sight S:4 E:9 Moving Beyond Friendship

    This week’s episode of “Married at First Sight” on FYI, easily vied for the top spot in intensity. As we enter the fourth week of this radical social experiment, emotions were running high, for participants and viewers alike. The focus now is in moving these relationships beyond friendship.  Derek and HeatherYou have to be willing to cultivate a friendship in order to move to romance. It takes a desire to be curious and learn about someone’s individuality, without judgment and criticism. It takes building trust by proving you are invested and loyal. With Derek and Heather’s tumultuous honeymoon, they unfortunately never even made it to friendship. Heather quickly came to the conclusion…

  • Married at First Sight

    Married at First Sight S:4 E:8 Communicating Through Conflict

    This week’s episode of FYI’s Married at First Sight was a shocker. Although they have always had the choice to walk out on their marriage, this is the first time a couple has ended it before the six week social experiment was over.   Last week’s episode blog was about how feelings and personal identity are affected when having difficult conversations. This week we’ll take it a step further and look at how the couples are communicating through conflict.      When we are not secure in our identity, an all or nothing attitude can develop. This happens because in an unstable situation we go into self-preservation mode. We see…

  • Married at First Sight

    Married at First Sight S:4 E:7 Managing Difficult Conversations

    The “Married at First Sight” couples (2 out of 3) have moved in together and they now must learn to adjust to the new reality of living with a spouse. Merging two lives isn’t an easy thing for any couple, much less someone you are just met.  Managing conflict is an integral part of marriage and the couples dove right in, having difficult conversations this week. Derek and Heather When trying to determine exactly what is going wrong in a situation, things can quickly go awry. Finding the truth is difficult when you have two people with different perceptions of the facts. It becomes essential to avoid the case of who is right and who…

  • Married at First Sight

    Married at First Sight S:4 E:6 Perception of Others

    This week on FYI‘s Married at First Sight, the honeymoons are over and real life begins. This was a tough week to watch, but it is a reminder that marriage isn’t always easy.    I thought about how perception plays into not only how we communicate with others, but also how we judge what we see. Let’s take a further look into the three relationships this week.     Derek and Heather   Two or more people often perceive a situation in radically different ways. It’s human nature to cling to a first perception, even if it is wrong. After an opinion of someone is formed, it’s common to hang…

  • Married at First Sight

    Married at First Sight S:4 E:5 – Respect and Patience are Virtues

    In my interview with “Married at First Sight” relationship expert Rachel DeAlto, she shared the importance of patience and respect when building a relationship in this radical social experiment. Relationships involve two people with very different thoughts, ideas and values. It can be challenging to merge those strengths and weaknesses into one cohesive unit. We saw the couples face those challenges this week. Here are my thoughts as I watched them maneuver through rough waters…literally.Derek and HeatherIt is common to avoid conflict or confrontation because it causes discomfort. But in order to find solutions, you must push through the pain. In a relationship, that requires two willing participants.  When someone doesn’t meet…

  • Married at First Sight,  Reality TV Star Interviews

    Married at First Sight – Rachel DeAlto: ‘Being vulnerable means sharing your story.’

    Season 4 of FYI‘s radical social experiment, “Married at First Sight”, has two new experts joining sociologist Dr. Pepper Schwartz. The addition of pastor Calvin Roberson and relationship expert, Rachel DeAlto brings fresh ideas and opportunities for growth…for both couples and the viewing audience.  As an equity/social justice advocate, one of my guiding principles is building relationships through the sharing of stories. I recently had the privilege of connecting with Rachel and learning she shares that philosophy. Here is a glimpse of her story, as it relates to Married at First Sight: Tell us about your professional career. As a life coach and hypnotherapist, I work with people to find…