When rugged outdoorsman Ryan (35) and less adventurous Brett (33) met and married at the altar on Lifetime’s Married at First Sight, fans swooned as they shared not one, but two kisses.
During the honeymoon, the couple continued with their flirtatious ways and easy affection. Although there were some apparent lifestyle differences, they both seemed willing to overlook those in search of compatibility.
Once the honeymoon was over, it wasn’t long before a crack appeared in the foundation they had begun to build. As time progressed, that crack became wider and wider, until they could no longer bridge it.
It was easy to see the pain in both sets of eyes, as they individually attempted to tread water, yet their heads and hearts kept bobbing under.
In this interview, Ryan will share his experience with marrying a stranger and his thoughts on the journey.
Let’s reflect on the beginning of your marriage. Share your initial thoughts and what you liked about Brett.
My initial thoughts on Brett were optimistically positive. I truly came into this experience with the intention of being positive no matter who came down the aisle.
The light-hearted banter between you and Brett and your down-to-earth styles made it seem like an easy path to love.
We definitely had great banter. It was a relieving feeling knowing that at the very least, Brett was somebody that I could see myself having a friendship with…which was big for me to have that confirmation so early.
Physically, you were very connected on the honeymoon and when you first moved in together.
Going into the honeymoon, I was honestly looking past the physical. We had initially connected on other things, and that’s truly what I was holding on to and building on. Type-wise, the physical was always going to be tough for me and I knew that immediately. At the end of the day, it’s something [at the time] I could overlook…
At the BBQ we saw a different Ryan. You revealed to the guys that you felt no spark or connection with Brett. Looking back, can you pinpoint what brought on that change?
What brought the change in my demeanor, was the complacency and our differences in how we choose to spend our time. Considering myself as a motivated person, it was very difficult for me to get past the thought of spending my life with someone who would prefer a quiet weekend indoors than out doing things.
Not saying one way is the right or wrong way to live your life, but I knew enough about myself to know that was going to be a real struggle.
You shared that in past relationships you’ve made the mistake of waiting too long to open up. Can you give us some insight on this?
Waiting too long to open up in the past has typically been a way that I protect my feelings, especially during the times of me struggling with the loss I was already dealing with.
In an accelerated process like Married at First Sight, how did you ensure you weren’t going to repeat that pattern?
My relationship, in this process, was not affected by this. Not opening up to Brett was the last scenario I wanted, but I was very confident in it being the right thing to do.
Expound on why you thought it was the right thing to do.
It was a very difficult situation for both of us, especially Brett, I imagine. But until I had something that I could grasp on to and see a future with, it felt like [I was] saving her emotions for a majority of the process.
The visit with Dr. Viviana was the point where you started to really pull away. Can you be specific on why you shut down after that?
I shut down after the conversation with Dr. Viviana because I realized that I couldn’t be untrue to my feelings. After Brett became emotional, I felt that I needed to be true to myself, which meant realistically, not being with her. Whether this hurt her feelings or not, the best thing that I could do for her was to be honest.
After that, you decided to start sleeping on the couch.
Me sleeping on the couch was obviously not an ideal scenario for either of us, but I simply couldn’t share a bed with someone that I wasn’t developing the needed feelings with.
Making the decision to move into the other bedroom appeared that you were done trying. It’s understandable that you weren’t sleeping well on the couch, but explain why you couldn’t share a room with Brett anymore.
Although we had a large portion of the process to go, it wasn’t a feeling that could be forced any longer on me. It’s tough for people on the outside looking in to relate to our relationship with this…but to sum it up, I wasn’t happy and it was starting to wear on me at this point.
Do you still feel that was the right thing to do?
Reflecting on that week, I should have been more open with her about not thinking it was a good idea for us to be sleeping in the same room, opposed to me continuing to sleep on the floor/couch. The feelings we had seemed to be almost forced at this point and it’s just an incredibly tough situation.
Dr. Pepper was pretty direct on the importance of having difficult conversations in marriage. Can you explain your thought process on why you didn’t open up to Brett?
The issues that Brett and I had, in my opinion, aren’t issues that can just change in people…nor do I want her to change for me.
Brett is an incredible person. She knows that. I know that. Viewers know that.
We are so vastly different in so many significant ways, it’s hard for me to see any scenario where we can work past everything that can lead us to have a successful, happy relationship.
Despite that fact, you told Dr. Pepper we’d see more effort on your end. After your session with her, you felt rejuvenated in the relationship.
With two weeks remaining, I wanted to leave no doubts for either of us. I was absolutely planning to dedicate all of my time, effort, emotions to the final stretch of this process and see if we can make a Hail Mary happen and finally get some of these lacking needs that we both have.
Although you chose divorce on Decision Day, share your closing thoughts regarding being Married at First Sight.
I never went into this experiment thinking that failure was an option. I’m not a person that will ever consider that without exhausting all avenues to achieve success.
[Finally], as trying as this has all been, I know that I’m taking valuable components away from this that will help me in this and life in general, honestly.
Follow me on Instagram at @realitvwithbee
Follow me on Twitter at RealiTVwithBee
Feature Photo Credit: CHRISWPHOTO