Briana and Vincent started out their Married at First Sight experience on cloud nine. Their initial attraction and chemistry were off the charts, which put them on solid ground for growing in love.
However, getting to know a stranger is not easy. One challenge they’ve had is understanding and working through different communication styles.
In this exclusive interview with Briana, we discuss her instant connection with Vincent, her lens on learning to communicate with a stranger, and how to bridge that gap moving forward.
Can you share the ways you and Vincent instantly connected and why you felt he was the perfect match for you?
Vincent and I connected in so many ways, even on day one! His energy is captivating, which makes him easy to talk to. Vincent’s smile is infectious and he definitely knows how to keep me laughing!
Knowing that our families are accepting of each other and just want the best for me and Vincent warms my heart. Although we’re still learning about one another every day, I think he just gets me!
Your different styles of communication started to surface on the honeymoon. Let’s talk about that.
Communication is key, first and foremost, with any relationship. I’m a “put it all out there” type of girl, while Vincent can be a bit more reserved with verbalizing what’s going on internally. It takes time for him to come up with the words to say. The fact that he stepped out of his comfort zone while on the honeymoon to let me know we were a bit off-balance at times is totally fine with me!
When did you start noticing there was a disconnect?
Now thinking back, I don’t think there was a disconnect. Two wildly different personalities are coming together as one. It’ll just take time to mold our polar opposite communication styles into one that works well for both of us.
A big part of indirect communication is body language. Are you picking up on those non-verbal queues that Vincent is showing?
Oftentimes we forget that we literally met at the altar yet we’re expected to just vibe. That’s not the case.
Picking up on nonverbal cues is so hard, especially when you really don’t know someone. That is something that will take time and I’m willing to put in the effort!
People have commented on social media that Vincent is too sensitive. Share your thoughts on that.
To be completely honest, I can’t worry about social media comments regarding Vincent’s level of sensitivity or my level of sarcasm. Opinions do not matter.
Is there a time when sarcasm or joking crosses the line, in your opinion?
Of course, there’s a line that you shouldn’t cross when joking. I would never go that far.
During a recent discussion, Vincent walked out. Tell us how it felt and what you were thinking when he left the apartment.
I was just confused when he left. I didn’t understand his reasoning, but it was apparent that he was hurt. He did communicate to me that he would be back soon but just needed a minute to think.
Is there ever a situation where you feel it’s okay to leave?
There’s never a situation where it’s okay for either of us to leave when there’s an issue. That’s something that he realized soon after.
What was the take-away for you in that moment?
I learned that you cannot force someone to have a conversation that they’re not ready to have.
Sometimes direct communication can feel confrontational and blunt, while indirect communication can feel evasive and passive. Do you see that as a factor?
I’m not a confrontational person and Vincent isn’t evasive. Our cultures and the way that we were raised has a lot to do with our communication styles.
What would it look like for you to bridge that gap and meet in the middle?
What we’re doing as a couple is trying to understand one another so that he knows nothing I say comes from a bad place, and when he feels as if something is going horribly wrong, he communicates that to me instead of taking action.
Our goal is to meet in the middle and become effective communicators without losing a sense of “self” during the process.
Photo credit: LaJoy Cox of LaJoy Photography