There is nothing more powerful or impactful to the success or failure of couples that are
“Married at First Sight” than the spoken word. Each phrase uttered has the potential for lifting and softening hearts, or piercing and causing pain.
With only six weeks [or less] to build a strong foundation where love can grow, every word has immense power. As each season progresses, we see the direct results that spoken words have.
In all of us, there is an innate desire to love and feel loved. During the process of getting to know a stranger, the communication dance can alternately float like a waltz or step on toes. Tone and attitude are the song playing on the dance floor.
When words of kindness and affirmation are spoken, our spirits soar. Hope begins to bubble up, tickling our hearts with joy. There is a freedom that lightens our step.
Likewise, when words cut like a knife, the pain is deep. It can be difficult to manage the slightest crawl with the immense weight dragging us down. How do we move beyond the despair gripping our heart?
Recognize that harmful words are never a reflection of us. They are a projection of the other person’s reality. Oftentimes it’s pain and unresolved emotional baggage that causes a visceral reaction.
The most important step in healing from hurtful words, is to let them go. Forgiveness is a choice, a gift you give yourself. Freeing yourself from negativity allows you to move beyond the pain.
Setting boundaries and making adjustments are often necessary, but they must be aligned with a mutual decision to move the relationship forward.
Finally, marriage is a lifelong journey of learning to communicate more effectively. It’s impossible to accomplish this in six short weeks. However, what can be accomplished, is staying committed to resolving every issue that arises with respect, empathy and compassion for one another. And above all else, by having forgiveness.
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